Secret Garden

“KITA HANYA MERANCANG, TUHAN YANG MENENTUKAN”

cliche as it sounds, it was indeed the best line to summarize what happened to me yesterday.

first of all, i missed my flight to balik kampung!! my flight was supposed to be at 7.15am yesterday, and tini woke me up at 5.50. i didn’t hear my alarm! even hajar did not wake up. panic attack!!! we all got dressed (yes, tak mandi!!) and tini drove me to sentral, hoping to find an airasia kiosk for me to check-in, which would leave us about one hour to get to LCCT. fingers crossed, hajar and me ran like nobody’s business in sentral, just to find no kiosk there. and that’s it, i missed my flight!

then i thought: not another day in KL!! so i asked tini to take me to pudu to look for a bus ticket. counters were not opened yet, but i saw a ticket counter across the street and bought a ticket to alor star, which cost me RM40 (bloody hell, cekik darah!) the bus was at 7.30am so we had time to go back, take a shower and perform subuh prayer.

at 7.30am, there was no sight of the bus yet. i was praying to God: please don’t let this be a scam! thankfully, the bus came at about 8.00, only to depart at 8.30am. so there i was, in a bus headed home, though i’ve planned months ago not to travel back in a bus during fasting month.

the bus dropped some passengers in butterworth and resumed the journey. suddenly it came to a halt. the bus broke down somewhere in sungai petani! not again! what can be worse than this?? so the waiting game began. we had to wait for either the mechanic or any bus with empty seats. it was not a long wait, after about half an hour i hopped into the second bus that came by, and off i went to alos star.

my sister-in-law was already on the way to pick me up from alor star. suddenly i got a text from her…her car also broke down, and she’s also stranded! what?? she had to wait for our uncle to pick her up and there was no way she could come and get me. that was it. that was the worst thing that happened. and i was so close to home.

but it was not too bad. when i reached alor star, i took another bus to kangar, though i had to wait for a while for it to get moving. and in the end, close to 6.00pm i reached home finally, with a great relief from my worried mother, just in time to buka puasa.

well what can i say. it’s indeed some obstacles for me this ramadhan but looking at the bright side, i reached home safely. that’s what matters.

and it’s sure good to be home.

EID MUBARAK EVERYONE. MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!

Konayuki mau kisetsu wa itsumo sure chigai
Hitogomi ni magirete mo onaji sora miteru no ni
Kaze ni fukarete nita you ni kogoeru no ni

Boku wa kimi no subete nado shitte wa inai darou
Soredemo ichi oku nin kara kimi wo mitsuketa yo
Konkyo wa naikedo honki de omotterunda

Sasaina ii aimo nakute
Onaji jikan wo ikite nado ike nai
Sunao ni nare nai nara
Yorokobi mo kanashimi mo munashii dake

Konayuki nee kokoro made shiroku somerareta nara
Futari no kodoku wo wake au koto ga dekita no kai

Boku wa kimi no kokoro ni mimi wo oshi atete
Sono koe no suru hou he sutto fukaku made
Orite yukitai soko de mou ichi do aou

Wakari aitai nante
Uwabe wo nadete itano wa boku no hou
Kimi no kajikanda te mo nigirishimeru
Koto dakede tsunagatteta no ni

Konayuki nee eien wo mae ni amari ni moroku
Zara tsuku ASUFARUTO no ue shimi ni natte yuku yo

Konayuki nee toki ni tayori naku kokoro wa yureru
Soredemo boku wa kimi no koto mamori tsuduketai

Konayuki nee kokoro made shiroku somerareta nara
Futari no kodoku wo tsutsunde sora ni kaesu kara

1 Liter Of Tears OST - Remioromen - Konayuki.mp3 -

On Mother’s Day yesterday, I was woken up by a text message very early in the morning. It was from my dear friend telling me that his mother has passed away. I could swear I was not blinking for about a minute..I read the text over and over again just to make sure I was not dreaming and obviously I was not. I just could not go back to sleep after that. His mother was suffering from some illnesses for quite a long time already but losing her was still a painful experience especially when it coincided with Mother’s Day. I could just imagine how he was feeling. Suddenly I felt very sad that I was not home with my own mom this Mother’s Day.  I was just thinking what to get for my mom and it hit me that my presence back home could be more precious than anything. Sob..sob..

To my friend: You just have to be strong as I know you are. You understand so well how we can’t have everything & everything happens for a reason. You’ll be OK, I know. I hope.

Al-Fatihah to arwah.

saya sangat sedih sekarang. sedih dengan keadaan masyarakat yang berpecah belah dan tidak berakal. adalah sungguh bodoh manusia dewasa yang punya akal yang ada tapi tidak tahu menggunakannya dengan betul. kenapa manusia jadi bodoh? itu satu persoalan yang sampai sekarang saya memang tidak tahu jawapannya. kenapa manusia dengki, busuk hati, tidak sopan, tidak beradab, tidak berupaya berfikir dengan hati yang terbuka?

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, aku memohon kepadaMu: Buangkanlah perasaan hasad dan dengki yang berada di hati hamba-hambamu ini. Mudah-mudahan segala kebodohan manusia sekitarku ini dapat terhapus sama sekali. Permudahkanlah pekerjaanku dan pekerjaan mereka juga. AMEEN.

wow this is my first entry in 2008, and it’s already february. february is especially melancholic to me coz it marks my late ayah’s passing, which turned 5 this year. somehow, it still felt like yesterday. al-fatihah to my ayah..m still missing u!

i’m thankful that i found some secondary school friends recently. the funniest story was this colleague of mine, yang, who’s also my ex-uni mate but we did not realize that we have a mutual friend called leen. yang and leen have been close friends for a long time and i’ve heard her name being mentioned quite often but we’ve never met. it was leen who thought she knew me and finally we met a few weeks ago and yes, she’s the same leen i knew 20 years ago when we were still 13. all this while we didn’t know of each other’s existance! strange kan? (ex-jenan gurls n guys, u might wanna check out her profile under my facebook..buat iklan sket leen ehh?? hehe)

my CNY holiday was filled with various activities but mostly related to eating (that explains my extra kilos..) but that’s alright. it’s the company that counts! had the opportunity to play firecrackers too, in the spirit of CNY mood! hey, if u can’t beat them, join them! sigh…who doesn’t want another holiday…oh ya peeps, thanx for all the many oranges, i had tonnes and tonnes of them, still have some left! can i request the small ones next year? they are super sweet. i’ve not had yee sang yet this year so..looking forward to my yee sang (again, food!!)

my work…i came to realization that i’ve turned into the most boring teacher on earth. i’m done with students who are rude. i’m done with students who are spoiled. i’m done with students who are always negative. i’m done with students who don’t want to be taught. i think i’m done with this profession. imagine me who’s heartless and difficult giving up on this. yeah yeah i know i have to be positive bla bla bla. but hey, i’m only human. teachers are not without flaws (students are not without flaws too?? hmmm) and this is my lowest point. so yeah..it got me thinking. a lot.

one more thing, i now officially have–> a stalker. apparently my ex-bf from my matriculation days. it’s quite scary i’m not gonna get into details here. just felt like including it here in case..u know..anything ever happens.

well, there u go. that’s 2008 so far for me. not a very good headstart, probably a mixture i would say, but i can never stop hoping..

later..